I’mma part of your existence,
But you are oblivious.
I’mma your darkest secrets of each rule,
But you are delirious.
You insulted me,
Yet thou observant.
You treads me e’eryday,
Yet thou improvident.
You will forget me,
I believe it.
Leave me forlorn,
I confide it.
Will bring me no later,
Rather then there would be no story,
This is ’cause only your slyness;
Not mine, not hers, nor anyone else’s.
I like the use of words and obviously the poem itself deals with a very interesting topic π Such is human brain.. If I may say, I’ve been guilty of this crime.. But I do have my reasons..
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It is your generosity that those azoic things considered themselves guilty.
And what an author’s work, Lifeless enliven things. π thanks!
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A very original poet here, with an easily and clearly recognisable style,,,
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Thanks to know my ingeniouity. π
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Liking your familiarly odd, meaningfully ungrammared, cute and fruity poetry,,
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This is well stated, fully understandable. It emotes well, and I like the flow when I read it. Got a couple things: ***In “Yet thou observant.” and “Yet thou improvident.” – don’t they need a “being verb” i.e., Yet thou art observant” ?? I used “art” because you have “Thou” – which makes me curious – why is it sometimes “You” and sometimes “Thou”? I enjoy the switch, was just curious about why it was done π ***In your last line – “Not mine, not her, nor anyone else.” — I would recommend adding the possessive (‘s’) to “her” and else” so you get ‘Not mine, not hers, nor anyone else’s.’ Just those minor things – again I really enjoyed this read. Good work!
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First of all I want to say thanks for those appreciation that you enjoyed my writing. And your curiosity to learn those things is permissible. First, I can’t use there art in – “Yet thou observant”- and if I use this so meaning of this poetry overall will be changed. And you recommended me for last line – “Not mine, not her, nor anyone else”- Instead I was going to use first – ” Not me, not her, nor anyone else ” – but that’s not fitted anyway there. so I used this. and once again I did grammatical errors. 😝
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Hey stayclassy21 where r u based??? Just wantd to knw out of curiousityπ
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Hey! I am based on where your curiosity can never reach. π You must be greedy to learn anything. π
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Hahaha still if u cud let me knw
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Loved it.
Thanks for sharing
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π 🍁
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Whoosh… The sound made by the words that took the OVERmyHEAD bridge…
Great post anyway…:)
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Thanks a lot anyway. π
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Hi! I enjoyed your poem as it has a style I haven’t seen before, and the subject intrigued me – for personal experience and just because it’s a fascinating subject of human behaviour. π Thanks for visiting my blog.
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Thanks for your kindness. π
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lovvely poem like grear poet Keat.my heart’s touching.
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Thanks for your loving appreciation. π
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Welcome.now at this midnight i m feeling d word Forlorn.0
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Omg thank u 4 writing β€
Reblog on looking4heanna.wordpress.com
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Omg!! Thanku_4_reading π πΏ
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You are more than welcome. I’m always in touch. Hope you to like my posts too βΊβΊπ
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If you would like to be happy with my writing, definitely. π
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Like*
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This is so smooth! Exactly my emotions from your pen!!
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You have it, my writing will read much better..I hope. π
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You are a far better poet than most of people i know. I can say that.
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Thanks for this appreciation. Glad to listen this. π
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Glad to read you. I might improve while reading you.
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God! You are so good with the use use of words.
Glad to have find a classic poet. Keep it up! π
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Quickly, I will have to take several more birth for the job. π thanks for your goodness. πΏ
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ahhaha….that was quite clinching response…
Your most welcome.
But, it surely was that good. π
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I loved the below lines of yours : You insulted me,
Yet thou observant.
Will bring me no later,
Rather then there would be no story,!!!!! Great thoughts.. I would feel great if you comment on my blogs too.. that would encourage me to write more.
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seriously? My comments will encourage you to write. whacko!! just what I now, in this life. It would be my privilege. π And and thanks a lot. π
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Thanks for commenting. Sometimes being Wacko is fine. Hey!!Afterwards you wonβt again leave me on this lonely track.. is a fantastic creativity. No one wants to be pampered.
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Written beautifully
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Good flow of words
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Plaudit the good flow. π
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